[ She sighed, glancing over to make sure her door was shut. She pinned her phone between her head and shoulder so she could braid her hair over her shoulder while she talked. ]
Simon, I--look, making love with you wasn't the mistake. Taking advantage of you when you were feeling vulnerable was. Betraying Jace's trust was.
[ Thankfully, Clary had already cried herself out with Jace. Crying now would most certainly be a mistake.
She lay back on her mattress, staring up at her ceiling. ]
I just... was really selfish. I didn't think about anyone.
[ Simon knew how messed up he was for finding comfort in hearing Clary say it. He felt a terrible pressure in his chest slowly unwinding.
Timing, however, that was their mistake.
He stared down past his feet into the streets, the height was... Terrifying. ]
You didn't take advantage of me, Fray. You know how I feel about you. It's not about me being lonely or sad. It never was like that. I wanted it too, just as much.
[ he stopped and sighed, why couldn't they ever just find eachother at the right time.]
But I get it.
[ he hoped that Jace blamed him completely for it, because that would just make things easier for Clary.]
[ Simon found new respect for Jace, he valued Clary more than he valued his pride. Something Simon had never thought possible. Simon had failed Clary over something much more bending than that.
But he still wanted Clary. Even after every awful thing he's done.]
I'm sorry.
[ he couldn't sway Clary. He wouldn't. This was her choice to make. And it hurt to hear her so thorn.]
You know that no matter what you choose in the end, I'm with you all the way.
[ Simon wanted to reassure her that it would never happen. He could never move on from Clary, she was everything to him and no matter how many people Simon found himself attracted to, they couldn't compare.
And despite how much she tried to hide her sadness, it wasn't hard for Simon to notice, he was really hurting her.]
I can't move on from you, Clary. Don't you get it? I think I'm going to be in love with you forever, literally.
[ Clary considered that for a moment. It felt true--she had a similar feeling. Like she and Simon were meant to be significant to each other, forever. She knew that was true regardless of what it looked like.
In an abstract way, she wondered how much of this was just them being eighteen and dumb and in love. Had that ever panned out well for anyone?
Her mom and Luke, she supposed. For a while. ]
I think you're the person I'm meant to be with.
[ She paused, trying to think on what exactly that meant to her. ]
[ Ever since Simon's perception of time had been severely altered by his new nature, he'd questioned everything. Would he still feel the same way about music in a hundred years? Would he still feel close to God? Anything could change with the course of time.
But he never even thought about questioning his feeling for Clary the same way. The thought alone made him sick.]
You're my person too.
[ he sighed deeply and thought about this morning again, he really couldn't walk away from her again. Not after this.
[ Simon laughed, it was soft and almost too quiet, but he couldn't help himself at this point. To think it all started with a DreamWorks movie marathon. ]
Thank you. I promise things will be better from now on.
[ Clary smiled in spite of herself. They'd always told each other they loved each other--but she'd never get tired of hearing it in the romantic context. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2017-10-02 06:01 pm (UTC)[ She sighed, glancing over to make sure her door was shut. She pinned her phone between her head and shoulder so she could braid her hair over her shoulder while she talked. ]
Simon, I--look, making love with you wasn't the mistake. Taking advantage of you when you were feeling vulnerable was. Betraying Jace's trust was.
[ Thankfully, Clary had already cried herself out with Jace. Crying now would most certainly be a mistake.
She lay back on her mattress, staring up at her ceiling. ]
I just... was really selfish. I didn't think about anyone.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-02 06:32 pm (UTC)Timing, however, that was their mistake.
He stared down past his feet into the streets, the height was... Terrifying. ]
You didn't take advantage of me, Fray. You know how I feel about you. It's not about me being lonely or sad. It never was like that. I wanted it too, just as much.
[ he stopped and sighed, why couldn't they ever just find eachother at the right time.]
But I get it.
[ he hoped that Jace blamed him completely for it, because that would just make things easier for Clary.]
How is he?
no subject
Date: 2017-10-02 06:50 pm (UTC)[ She paused, frowning up at her ceiling. Simon deserved to know everything. Everyone deserved to know anything that had to do with them. ]
He wants to make it work.
[ And truthfully, Clary was tempted. Jace was so much more good and loyal than she deserved--they loved each other. It should have been easy.
She dropped her voice to a whisper, though she didn't really think anyone was listening in on her. ]
I don't know if that's what I want.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-02 07:23 pm (UTC)But he still wanted Clary. Even after every awful thing he's done.]
I'm sorry.
[ he couldn't sway Clary. He wouldn't. This was her choice to make. And it hurt to hear her so thorn.]
You know that no matter what you choose in the end, I'm with you all the way.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-02 07:41 pm (UTC)[ Clary turned on her side, watching the back of her door.
Why did everything have to be so hard? Why couldn't she have good timing for once in her life?
She wiped the corners of her eyes and took a moment to make sure she didn't sound teary. ]
I love you so much. I'm just afraid if I wait for you again, you'll move on again.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-02 11:36 pm (UTC)And despite how much she tried to hide her sadness, it wasn't hard for Simon to notice, he was really hurting her.]
I can't move on from you, Clary. Don't you get it? I think I'm going to be in love with you forever, literally.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-02 11:49 pm (UTC)In an abstract way, she wondered how much of this was just them being eighteen and dumb and in love. Had that ever panned out well for anyone?
Her mom and Luke, she supposed. For a while. ]
I think you're the person I'm meant to be with.
[ She paused, trying to think on what exactly that meant to her. ]
So. I'll wait for you.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-03 12:39 am (UTC)But he never even thought about questioning his feeling for Clary the same way. The thought alone made him sick.]
You're my person too.
[ he sighed deeply and thought about this morning again, he really couldn't walk away from her again. Not after this.
But it wasn't fair for her.]
But I also want you to be happy.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-03 12:49 am (UTC)She sighed, resting her elbows on her knees. ]
So then, what does that mean?
no subject
Date: 2017-10-03 01:28 am (UTC)I just want you to be sure of what you choose.
[ after a pause, Simon couldn't help the small smile forming on his lips.]
But to tell you the truth I felt really happy when you said that.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-03 01:46 am (UTC)[ She almost laughed, pushing her hand through her bangs.
Simon was crazy to think Clary wasn't sure. She knew what she wanted--she hadn't faltered except when forced to by the Seelie Queen. ]
I would have chosen you a hundred times by now. I'm telling you I'll wait for you.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-03 02:19 am (UTC)[ Simon laughed, it was soft and almost too quiet, but he couldn't help himself at this point. To think it all started with a DreamWorks movie marathon. ]
Thank you. I promise things will be better from now on.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-03 02:30 am (UTC)I really love you, too.
And... okay. I'll be here.